MARTIANS STOPPED TO SEE ST. NICK

A couple of Martians stopped by to see old St. Nick,
But, when the Martians left they felt downtrodden and sick,
Because Santa Claus said,
He didn’t visit planets painted red,
But, the Easter rabbit thought that Mars was a KICK!

SANTA'S CRACKERS

Bob Roy had no time to bake,
Any Christmas cookies for Santa’s sake,
Bob Roy had frosting in a can but, no backers,
So, Bob Roy spread the caned frosting on saltine crackers,

When Santa came down Bob Roy’s woodstove pipe,
He was covered with soot and had to wipe,
When Santa was done he looked for his traditional eats,
His glass of fresh milk and homemade cookie treats,

Now, Santa had brought Bob Roy something real nice,
It was a homemade jerky maker complete with jerky spice,
Old Santa’s belly needed some food and growled like a bear,
Then Santa found his gift snack but, could not believe what was there,

On the table surrounded with decorations ornate,
Sat many colored saltine crackers on a cookie plate,
Santa was hungry and could not hesitate,
So, all the frosted saltine crackers Santa downed away straight,

The saltines were dry so Santa guzzled down his milk,
Then he wondered what kind of people? What kind of ilk?
Would substitute saltine crackers for cookies anyway?
But, Santa knew he had to get back to his sleigh,

Santa left Bob Roy the jerky maker so Bob Roy would be happy,
Then, up the stove pipe Santa took off feeling kind of sappy,
In exchange for a jerky make complete with jerky maker spice,
Santa got saltine crackers and he thought he itched a bit with lice.

RANDY WENT RIDING ON HIS NEW BIG WHEELED TRIKE

Randy went riding on his new big wheeled trike,
He rode a big wheel since he was a tike,
At age forty he'd say,
A trike was his way,
Since, he fell on his face off his bike.

THE DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS

When Santa sits around unemployed,
He stares off into the void,
Soon lickety-split,
He jumps up, he can’t sit,
He must design a toy doggie droid.

IT IS TIME TO TAKE DOWN THE CHRISTMAS TREE

It is time to take down the Christmas tree,
And, put away the bangles, bulbs, tinsel and, beads,
Stuff  Christmas in the attic or the crawl space ; let it be,
Until the tide of the next year recedes,

Until then the memories of this Christmas may fade,
Like the sweet faces that we’ll see no more,
But, then next December we’ll begin the Christmas  parade,
Of the things and memories that we’ve  kept in store.  

SANTA ON CHRISTMAS DAY

On Christmas day Santa sat smoking his pipe,
He had just opened a new can of fresh tripe,
His job was now over,
Until the end of October,
But, Mrs. Claus could work; she could type.

MY RIFT WITH SANTA

I had a rift with Santa Claus last winter,
It's too bad that our friendship had to splinter,
Next Christmas I'll get no toys,
So, there will be no un-giftwrapping noise,
Maybe I'd better be at least an apology hinter.