RANDY WENT RIDING ON HIS NEW BIG WHEELED TRIKE

Randy went riding on his new big wheeled trike,
He rode a big wheel since he was a tike,
At age forty he'd say,
A trike was his way,
Since, he fell on his face off his bike.

THE DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS

When Santa sits around unemployed,
He stares off into the void,
Soon lickety-split,
He jumps up, he can’t sit,
He must design a toy doggie droid.

IT IS TIME TO TAKE DOWN THE CHRISTMAS TREE

It is time to take down the Christmas tree,
And, put away the bangles, bulbs, tinsel and, beads,
Stuff  Christmas in the attic or the crawl space ; let it be,
Until the tide of the next year recedes,

Until then the memories of this Christmas may fade,
Like the sweet faces that we’ll see no more,
But, then next December we’ll begin the Christmas  parade,
Of the things and memories that we’ve  kept in store.  

SANTA ON CHRISTMAS DAY

On Christmas day Santa sat smoking his pipe,
He had just opened a new can of fresh tripe,
His job was now over,
Until the end of October,
But, Mrs. Claus could work; she could type.

MY RIFT WITH SANTA

I had a rift with Santa Claus last winter,
It's too bad that our friendship had to splinter,
Next Christmas I'll get no toys,
So, there will be no un-giftwrapping noise,
Maybe I'd better be at least an apology hinter.

SANTA RODE ON HIS RED SLEIGH

Santa Claus rode on his red sleigh,
Bringing presents on Christmas day,
He couldn't hardly steer,
His rowdy reindeer,
Till he agreed to give them more pay.

THE GOOD AND THE PLENTY

I'm so excited that Christmas Day is almost here.  That's the day I provide a feast at my apartment for all my family and friends.  I've be hosting Christmas dinner every year for the past fifteen years and I've never gotten tired of it.  Of course it is a lot of work but, all the work I do is worth it when I see all the joy it brings to so many.

I began providing the dinner fifteen years ago when the older people in my family, namely my folks, grandparents, aunts and uncles became physically unable to perform the task.    My mom, God rest her soul, was the last one who prepared a meal for the big crowd and I had to do most of the work to get everything done.   She tried really hard to do it all but, she had heart failure and could only do a limited amount of work before she had to sit down and rest.  And, my dad had cancer and had an oxygen tank so, he wasn't allowed near the kitchen when the gas stove was blazing away.  The last time my mom made dinner my  poor dad was so sick.  I volunteered to be the main person to help him with his hospice care.  That Christmas I decorated the house up with a lot of his World War II army memorabilia.  He had stuff from all the places in Europe where he stayed.  He had some unique elf decorations he got in France and an old fashioned Santa from England.

Of course, the younger people were all too busy to spend the time fixing such a vast meal and quietly complained they couldn't afford the food to feed everyone.   Also, most of them had really small apartments and couldn't accommodate our crowd.   There were some who volunteered to do the dinner like Aunt Midge but, her heart was just not into it and she always rolled her eyes whenever she begrudgingly volunteered.

Well,  I really wanted to do the dinner.  I felt the dinner was a tradition that had gone on since I could remember and I wanted it to continue on forever and I knew  that if I had the dinner every year it would go on, at least until I kicked the bucket.   

Now, of course the first thing I had to do this year was to make up a list of things to do and a list of things to buy for the dinner.  Like most people, I started planning and preparing for Christmas dinner right after Thanksgiving.  I usually take a calendar and write down what I need to accomplish each day from Thanksgiving until Christmas in order to get everything done.  My biggest nightmare this time of year is to wake up Christmas morning and realize people are coming and I haven't gotten anything ready for the dinner.  That of course is when I look at my calender of things to do and make sure each day is crossed off and I especially check to make sure I haven't missed doing anything really important like buying the food.

Every year for at least the past ten years I've been buying the food for Christmas at Sander Markets down on 14th street.  They're a little high priced on their food but, they're a local market I can walk to which is important since I can't afford to have a car anymore and I certainly can't afford a taxi or bus.  Normally, I just pull my little red wagon down to the store and put my groceries in that.  It's also kind of nice since if I get too poohed out hauling my wagon I can sit down for a spell and catch my breath.  I'm having to do a lot of that lately, as I get older.

This year I have limited funds to spend on food for the dinner.  My funds have always been limited but this year my dollars have to stretch a lot more because my doctor is prescribing me a different heart medication and it isn't fully covered by insurance.  Oh well, we all have our little problems and, mine seem to melt away when I get together with loved ones on the most joyous day.  I'll still manage to have about the same dinner this year as I always do.  I just might have to ask for volunteers to bring the desert.  If I do that probably everyone coming will show up with a pie.

At the store when I get ready to check out I always go to Paula.  She's an older lady and has been checking out at Sander Markets for over twenty years she says.  Paula is the nicest person working there and, every year when I check out my dinner stuff just before Christmas Paula always asks me if I have somewhere to go for Christmas dinner.  I always tell here "No, I don't.  I'm staying home as always and making a big dinner for my entire family.  You know one of those dinners like they use to have where everyone got together.  It's such a good time."

"Paula always smiles and says "That is so sweet of you.  Those were good times weren't they?"

"Yes they are.  When times were good and friends were plenty."

"The good and the plenty," Paula would say.

"'The good and the plenty,'I like the sound of that," I always tell Paula.
"You serving saltine crackers and a can of ham this year again?" Paula would ask as she checks me out.

"Just a small can of diced ham this year Paula.  The prices have gone up so much I can't afford a big canned ham anymore.  They'll be plenty to eat anyway.  I've asked that people each bring a dish and whoever wants to can bring a desert like a pie.  Doesn't pie sound good Paula?  Maybe a pecan pie or blueberry like we use to have when I was a kid."

"That sounds just great," Paula always says.  "Merry Christmas," Paula will say to me as I leave for home.  Paula is so nice.  Sometimes she'll ask a manager if a bagger is available to help me get my groceries home.  Sometimes they do but, most of the time the manager says they're just too busy to let one of the baggers go.

I can hardly wait for Christmas day.  When I was a kid it was all about the presents but, as I grew older I realized it was all about the people and that the people were much more precious than presents.  Even the food won't matter that much.  It's just something to get the conversations going.  This year I really want to see mom and dad.  I hope I don't fall asleep again in the middle of the afternoon and wake up and find everyone gone.  That's what always happens every year.  They're all gone and the  place is all straightened up like no one was ever here.
     

WHAT CHICKENS WANT MOST ON CHRISTMAS DAY

What chickens want most on Christmas Day,
Is a nice warm spot for their eggs to lay,
For soon along will come Easter morning,
With no nest a forewarning,
The eggs will have no place to stay.

PAM THE KANGAROO AT THE NORTH POLE

There is a kangaroo named Pam,
She works for Santa and makes his jam,
When jam making wanes,
She makes candy canes,
On Christmas Day she glazes the ham.

MY TALL CHRISTMAS TREE LIMERICK

My Christmas tree was 20 feet tall,
To get it inside I cut a hole in the wall,
Then, the wind blew straight in,
So, for my frost bitten kin,
I lit a fire burning the tree branches and all.

THE LEGEND OF THE CHRISTMAS SACK (THE WORST CHRISTMAS POEM EVER WRITTEN)

Frank the fish could not wrap his Christmas gifts,
Because he had no hands,
So, Frank left the mighty sea to search,
For the handed lands,

Frank swam around the world,
And searched for such lands,
A place to get his gifts wrapped,
The land of many hands,

Finally, Frank found such a place,
Where only hands would dwell,
Unfortunately the hands were all on the left,
To wrap gifts it takes a right hand as well,

So, Frank gave up on wrapping his Christmas gifts,
And, settled for colored paper sacks instead,
Frank had started a new tradition,
At least that’s what the gift sack legend said.